THE BLOG OF ULTIMATE CALAMITY
Bad books on writing tell you to ‘WRITE WHAT YOU KNOW’, a solemn and totally false adage that is the reason there exist so many mediocre novels about English professors contemplating adultery.
Joe Haldeman (via maxkirin)

timelady-of-221b:

joeeatspeople:

yesidolikecoatsbigtime:

Types of people who romanticize small town life:

  1. People who didn’t grow up in small towns

#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST

#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS

obfuscobble:

thesegoddamnpancakes:

ahahahahhahahahahayuu:

randomstupidchaos:

thecatbusismyspiritanimal:

wiccanroses:

xybutt:

whatagrump:

Reblog for history channel

History.

History channel I love you anyways

oh wow they’re all true…

I’m appalled the History channel one didn’t mention aliens anywhere. Aliens or Nostradamus. 

and PBS is ur teacher 

Food network is your ‘foodie’ trend-hopping cousin with a not-so-secret trashy diner/food truck fixation. Cooking channel is their older sibling who can actually cook, but is kind of insufferable to be around and a bit of an alcoholic.

Seconding that History Channel needed more Aliens and Nostradamus, but also I’m here to add…

twiabpaianlatfwnogf:

willin0ise:

penis-hilton:

if my kids don’t go this hard i will be so disappointed

HOLY FUCKING SHIT I WANT TO PLAY IN THIS BAND

can these kids open for my band?

omicronian:

built-by-machines:

Are we just not going to acknowledge the exterminator’s van on the new Bob’s Burgers tonight? Because I think we should.

YES

omicronian:

built-by-machines:

Are we just not going to acknowledge the exterminator’s van on the new Bob’s Burgers tonight? Because I think we should.

YES

vintagebooksdesign:

VINTAGE WAR

To mark the centenary of the First World War, Vintage is launching a unique collection of war fiction. April 2014 will see the publication of twelve works by the greatest writers of the last century, each tackling this most powerful and universal of subjects.

The series was a collaborative effort by the Vintage Design team. Each cover was designed and hand-painted in-house, with the aim of giving a bold, contemporary look to these war-themed classics.

johncougartownmellencamp:

soloontherocks:

eupheme-butterfly:

rubycosmos:

lipstick-and-lightsabers:

denism79.deviantart.com

If Star Wars were a 1980’s High School movie.

WOW WAIT HANG ON JUST A MINUTE

Hey soloontherocks

excuse me we need to talk about motorcycle gang Vader and Fett

Oh my god Boba Fett taping Han inside the freezer

suluboo:

relationship tip #78: ‘babe’ and ‘baby’ are cliche and outdated. try a fun new nickname such as ‘lieutenant’ instead 

Possible candidates for a WOC Disney Princess

insidethelocket:

Queen Liliuokalani: Hawaiian princess during the 1800’s who must defend her land from a scorned volcano spirit that swears to destroy all of Hawaii.
Princess Kaguya: Japanese folktale princess who is raised by the emperor and soon discovers her inherent alien abilities as a resident of the Moon, deals with social exclusion while simultaneously butting heads with a kitsune.
Calamity Jane: Native American non-princess a la Mulan who deals with mystical creatures she must defeat while on the Western Frontier because she is the only one who knows the dangers of the land (like Wendigos and Cactus Cats).
Maria Pistolas: Hispanic non-princess who rescues unjustly arrested revolutionaries during the Mexican Revolution against Spain.
Queen Hatshepsut: Egyptian pharaoh who is cursed to become a wolf at night by the Egyptian gods and must discover a cure after realizing she has killed her entire family and become monarch.
Princess Romanework: Ethiopian princess who must venture into Italy in hopes of escaping death due to being a twin and experiences culture shock.
Urduja: Warrior queen (Datu) of a tribe in Pangasinan, the Philippines, who welcomed explorer Ibn Battuta to her land and had hopes of going on an expedition to India.

Calamity Jane not only wasn’t Native American, but she got the nickname while fighting them.  I’m sorry but having her as a native american disney princess would be horribly offensive

particlefucker:

dont let tumblr make you believe that

-eating car hubcaps is cool

-being an inanimate object is acceptable

-post-avant jazzcore is better than progressive dreamfunk

-having a corporeal form is healthy

-france exists

-chemtrails aren’t real